Monday, June 16, 2008

Annoy-o-meter

Regular readers of this blog will be aware of the special relationship I share with Aishwarya Rai. Namely, I can't stand her acting. I find her plasticky, annoying and the target of my prayers for being an early victim in any movie having any chance, however minuscule, of killings.

Given that Ash usually just has to make a physical presence in a movie to make her annoying, in Dhoom 2, she managed to take her "my-annoying-self" performance to sterling levels. Five minutes into her appearance, I was wanting to throw something at the screen. Ten minutes later, I was pulling my hair out in frustration. Fifteen minutes later, I hoped Hrithik or Abhishek or even random character on the road #3 would have the good sense to bump her off.

Of course no such thing happened. At the end of the movie, finding myself still sane, I felt like a survivor. I found a new appreciation for the tolerance levels of the entire crew of Dhoom-2. And though I woke up at night in cold sweat with echoes of "Funny guy" and "Sunehri like likes you" in my head for quite a few days afterwards, the frequency of these incidents gradually decreased.

The point I am trying to make is, after watching Ash in Dhoom-2 I thought the absolute zenith of an annoying performance in cinema had been reached. No matter how annoying any other actor was in any movie, beside Ash's spectacular Dhoom-2 performance, they were mere fireflies beside the sun. That Dhoom-2 performance would forever occupy the numero uno position in my Annoying Performances Hall of Fame.

Or so I thought. Then I watched Asin in Dasavatharam. Till she opened her mouth to talk, she looked very pretty. The words "En perumal-a kudu" were the harbinger of doom. High pitched, irritating, murder-inducing, annoying - Asin managed it all and more!

Why on earth could not the character Fletcher who seemed to kill everyone else at first glance not have killed Asin on a priority basis? I think it was his devious plan to try to drive Govindraj to suicide due to unbearable torture by giving him Asin's constant company. Seeing the sheer number of places where Asin could have been bumped off convincingly and yet was still left alive was like being denied candy after being taken all the way to the checkout counter again and again.

By the time the end of the movie rolled around, I was eagerly awaiting it. There did not seem to be any other way out of watching the torture called Asin.

To be fair to Asin, unlike Ash's role in Dhoom-2 which *might* have been saved by a better actress, *anyone* performing Asin's role in Dasavatharam would have been equally horribly annoying. Which is why I have decided to let Ash retain her title of most annoying performer ever. But let me tell you, it is a very very narrow victory.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

I thought Asin cant talk tamil and its dubbed by someone else?

rads said...

LOL! That bad eh! I am on a roll sharing ALL dasavatharam's reviews there are out there on blogs! :D

hey, Aish is not THAT bad :P
Watched raincoat?

Altoid said...

Hm, we narrowly missed watching Dasavatharam for Father's day. Been following reviews, and its been a mixed verdict.

About Aish, the celluloid doll has some major God of luck rooting for her, cos I dont know how she has survived this long, being an actress.

@rads : Yes, I've watched raincoat. unfortunately its the story and the characters that make it a great movie, Aish has only toned down on her "plasticity". So kudos to Rituparno Ghosh :D. Someone like Tabu would've taken that role to greater heights. Aish was barely ok.

J said...

:-) why blood same blood :D serious'a ava character en ippadi design panaanghalo..sema erichal.

vishesh said...

i havent seen it yet :( :( : --(

Divya said...

Someone kill ash.. really... She couldn't get more annoying if she put her whole effort into it.. but we don't want to see that day do we... written an interesting review of the nonsense of mistress of spices on my blog.. u might connect. enjoy.

Anonymous said...

finally did you like dasaavatharam or not?

karthik

Archana Bahuguna said...

Hey, Ash is not that bad. I had he same opinion but it took a topsy turvy once I watched Raincoat. She was really amazing in that and from then on other offbeat movies. Although I do agree she was extremely unfit for the role in Dhoom II. I guess her performance depends a lot on the director.

Shilpa said...

Ah I love to crib abt Ash....but she seems to be improving - she was really bearable in Jodha Akbar and heard she is good in Sarkar Raj also...

Entropy said...

Rads, Archana,
Disagree with you on 'Raincoat'. Ash was good in the movie simply because all she had to do was open her eyes wide, look sad and beautiful - which she does very well. There wasn't all that much emoting required from her.

Archu,
please watch 'sarkar raj' and write a post comparing Ash in 'Dhoom 2' with Ash in 'Sarkar Raj'. Would love to know what you think.

Also, may I run this post on my blog please ?

Zen

Anita said...

ha ha ha. this is quite funny. i think asin is basically cracking from the pressure of trying to do reprise her feather-headed role in ghajini in the hindi version. so she probably ends up acting like that all the time.

Archana said...

Anon - maybe, not sure. But I don't think that makes a difference :-)!

Rads - No - did not. Well, I thought Ash was okay in Guru :-).

Altoid - hmm, its okay for one watch I thought. But it most definitely does not deserver even the fraction of the hype.

J - I know :-(!

Vishesh - ippo paathacha? More importantly, do you think it was worthy enough to put all those frownies in your comment :-P?

Divya - hehe :-). Your review was funny!

Karthik - Welcome aboard! I thought it was okay for one watch. Hype panninna alavu suthama illai - so was disappointed.

Archana - Ah, I never knew Ash had so many supporters :-). Not yet watched Raincoat, so really can't comment on that...


Shilpa - et tu brute? You speaking up for Ash!?! Did aliens kidnap the real you :-O??


Zen - as in Ash is good in Sarkar raj? Coz if she is as bad as she was in Dhoom-2, I dont think I have it in me to sit through it :-(((!

Also, may I run this post on my blog please ?

Of course, I would be thrilled :-D!


Sindu - heheh! Kind of reminds me of HR in MPKDH. Remember his "child with water on the brain" acting there? Possible effect of KMG...

Entropy said...

No no. I didn't mean Ash is good in 'Sarkar Raj' - I have been avoiding the movie because she is in it, but I wanted to read a review written by you after you watch it !!

Though she is very very beautiful. Recently saw a trailer of 'Mistress of Spices' and was amazed at how pretty she looks. Didn't watch the movie though - her acting is too plasticky for the sacrifice of so much time.
;-)

Thanks for the loan of your post. It is on entropymuse now.

Zen

SK said...

Arch,
Hehe was Asin so bad? I personally think Asin and Ash are pretty (very much so). Acting.. no comments. I thght Ash was decent in Guru. So its in the director's hands I think.

See thats why you shouldnt watch good for nothing movies like Dhoom-2 ;--)

So is this movie worth watching at all or no?

vishesh said...

i still haven't :( no tickets available :(

Archana said...

Zen - ah, so untried and untested Ash ;-)! If I do get around to watching the movie, I am sure it will deserve a review at least for Ash's sake.

SK - she really is :-(! Same pinch - I thought Ash was bearable in Guru (Maniratnam is great). Dasavatharam is okay for one watch - romba aaha-oha-laam onnum illai!

Vishesh - Nejamavey? Wow!

Saumya said...

Archana: Please watch this movie - "Santosh Subramanian". I am sure you will seriously consider the top spot replacement - it was so bad, I could not watch it for more than 1/2 hour and refrained from banging my TV only because I paid for it with my hard earned money!

Archana said...

Saumya - I did watch the movie. Fully! The trick is to bear Genelia for the first half an hour or so - after that she becomes bearable (or more likely, you get used to her) - hehehe!