Thursday, March 13, 2008


As I have mentioned elsewhere in my blog, I used to have a good memory for remembering birthdays and wishing people. As I grew older, my memory turned out to be not so reliable. Which was when I became a member of birthdayalarm so that it could send me reminders. Cheating, I agree. But it helps me remember birthdays which was my goal anyways. Who does not like to be remembered on their birthday, no matter how the remembrance actually happened?

Till the time I totally relied upon my memory to aid me in remembering birthdays, I used to get quite annoyed with my friends when they did not remember mine. After all, I took the effort to remember, right? So why couldn't they?

With my own memory lapses came empathy. My friends were not forgetting my birthday because they wanted to or because they couldn't care less. It just so happened that their memory, for whatever reason, was not at its sharpest that day. So nowadays, I am a lot more tolerant.

However, try as I might, I still have a tough time not getting cross with the really close friends/family for lapses. Maybe it is natural to expect much more from people who are close to you.

Recently, when I was talking to someone about birthdays and wishing, they jokingly asked me if I had a people-list against which I placed check-marks if the people wished me on time. I burst out laughing and told them how ridiculous I thought the idea was.

After a while it struck me - I do seem to have some kind of mental list of people I definitely expect to hear from. While I am thrilled and very happy about getting wishes from everyone else, if anyone on the list forgets, I feel a twinge of disappointment.

Nothing wrong with wanting it all, eh :-)?

How many of you care about people wishing you on your birthday? And to what extent?


Anonymous said...


lepus townsendi said...

Happy Birthday Archana...So March 13 is your B'day rite....Here after you will get my wishes on the D-Day.Take care

vishesh said...

lol...i get real angry if people don't wish me!and all my close relatives know about my temper...i don't get angry easily but when i do...all hell breaks loose...

T said...

I dont remember anyones birthday ( except mine ;)), and I have a bare minimum on google calendar to remind me.
You are lucky since I never forget the fact that you have the same birthday as my sis.I usually get reminded for one of you;either for you(egroup) or for my sis(clues for gift) and I know I have to wish the other :D.

am not really social and thus I am not sure if I expect people's wishes as much (or get mad if they dont remember) but I do look forward to gifts on birthday ;)

SK said...

hhehe I used to care earlier, but then nowadays I dont care much. As long as close family, parents, bro, husband wish I am totally fine. So anyone unexpected wishing is like a bonus :--))

Prashanth said...

Do avoid disappointments, I reach out to all my friends the day bfore and announce that its by bday tomorrow (in really different ways like calling them out for dinner etc)! Sounds silly? Yeah! I heard that its forgivable to be silly with one's bdays!

Karthik Sriram said...

At any point of time, I have a list of people who really mean a lot to me and I do take the effort to remember their birthdays and wish them. I'm just 23 and so can still rely on my memory... but i do use my cell phone datebook too!

BTW, going by the comments, belated birthday wishes!!


Joy said...

With years gone by, I am also more lenient. Now, I don't make too much fuss as long as few close people have wished. But I do agree that I feel little sad, if someone I thought should be remembering does not wish me but I do not express my feelings.

rads said...

Birthdays are special to me. I wish folks on theirs and in a smallw ay expect to be remembered too. it's disappointing, but what to do.

This year, it was huge. Didn't hear from one whom I held quite dear and ah well .. :)

Archana said...

Anon - :-)?

Lepus Townsendi - lol :-)! Awesome :-D!

Vishesh - ah, that sounds like me in my younger days :-)!

T - I know - you have been extremely consistent in wishing me every year, thanks to your sis :-D! Besides, awesome March bday babies (e.g. me, your sis) are tough to ignore, right :-P? Ah, gifts are always nice :-)!

SK - The bonus wishes come with their own special pleasure, na?

Prashanth - lol - I have adopted this tactic too (with great results) at times :-)! And, welcome aboard :-)!

Karthik Sriram - me too prompt at wishing people! Cell phone datebook kooda cheating thaan :-P! Thanks :-)! And ya, welcome aboard :-)!

Joy - I have been slowly converting to this philosophy - but even now the ones who shd be remembering do get to know *exactly* what I think of them *evil grin*.

Rads - I know that feeling! Did you rap the dear one on the head?

J said...

Hai Archana, I am exactly like you :-) same story -- wishing ppl on their bdays using my own memory and reminders from bdayalarm these days.

>>I do seem to have some kind of mental list of people I definitely expect to hear from
LOL :)) ditto here too.

idhanalayae orkut'la bday visible a vachirukenaa paathuko ;-)

when is your bday btw? :)

Archana said...

J - lol - glad to know I am not the only person with strange demands :-)! Un bday note panniyaachu Orkut-lerndhu :-)! Bday just went by - March 13 :-)!

J said...

Ahh, nenachen. noted down. Belated birthday wishes :) Hope you had a great day!

Archana said...

J - heheh, thank you :-)!

Divya said...

3 years I've had a friend and all 3 years he's forgotten my birthday. So i love making him feel amazingly guilty yb saying things like Thanks for the early wishes, or hey happy bday to me and he will run to set things right :P sure is fun hehe :D
yeah i think everyone has that mental if not tangible list...

Blogs said...

same pinch :)